It’s true, who you think is your friend varies wildly from who your true friends are. Another distressing fact-you only have a 10th of the number of friends who think you have. When you think you have 15-20 good friends, dear friend, you only have about 4 or 5.
When we start to question things like this, we aren’t just setting the stage for depression, we are actually facing reality. It may be true that our large numbers of associates like to hang out and have fun with us, but when times get tough, why do they disappear? The answer is simple and a little disturbing.
They don’t care enough to help you fight battles.
I bet you are now taking inventory of your associations, highly determined to figure out who has your back and who would run at the first sign of trouble. This may take some hard learning and life experiences to discover the truth. And trust me, if you stick with this large number of “friends”, you will learn the truth sooner or later. Until then, here are a few ways to analyze your associations and get a heads up on who might possibly be your die hard, ride or die or…. well, you get the picture.
- One way to determine who is not your friend is to pay attention to whether or not they appear genuine. It’s not hard to tell when someone is lying or telling g a half truth. If your friends are not honest, then chances are, they will not stick around during the hard times. Why? Because those who lie are afraid of discomfort in telling the truth, thus your discomfort and pain will be impossible to deal with for pseudo-friends.
- If you are a back-up plan for your friends, then they aren’t really your friends. “Oh, I was going to go to Sheryl’s party, but she cancelled. Let’s go do something! I’m bored!” If your company is desired as plan B, then you will always be plan B, especially during “bored” times. This person is not really your friend, you are just a back-up option.
- Real friends value you for who you are, not for who they expect you to be. If someone is always trying to change you or your style, they are trying to create a friend, not be one. Don’t fall for this trap, even though it may be tempting. Real friends love and adore you horns and all.
- Pay close attention to the frequency in which your friends ask for help, spend your money and borrow your things. Are your friends only kind to you when they want something? If so, they are not friends, they are leaches. These people will love you as long as you give them things. Try saying no, and see if they are still your friends. If they get angry and threaten to stop talking to you, then you have your answer.
These are not the only indicators of false friendships, but it’s a start. Other ways to test your friendship will evolve over time and help you to cut away those individuals that do not serve you or help you grow. After all, friendship is about exalting one another, not breeding depression. Use these tips to weed out true friends from associates and you will find it much easier to enjoy your life with the true friends you have.
No more wasting time on those who do not care! Appreciate your true friends, even if there is only one!
By Sherrie Lee Hurd, Truth Inside Of You.