Do you sometimes feel that everyone is happy besides you? When we’re struggling, it can seem like you’re going through the battle of your life and everyone has absolutely nothing to fight off.
When I wake up, I feel anger that I’m no longer asleep. All I want to do is be anywhere else but inside my own head. Even if I find the courage to get out of bed and move on with my daily activities, all I really want to do is go back to sleep.
I have all these assignments due on Monday. I need to work on them now or else I won’t get them done.
“Why should you study when you’ll fail anyway?” says anxiety.
“Why bother studying when you’ll never succeed in whatever you do” says depression.
So I decide to stop studying, stop trying and instead open up my netflix and watch another show because I can’t stand these negative thoughts in my head.
To others, I seem lazy because I’m watching TV all day. I start to think what has gone wrong in my life? My inner voice tells me that I’m worthless and that I’ll never amount to nothing.
The problem is I feel like this every day . So much negativity going around in circles in my mind that I just don’t know what to do.
If you suffer from depression, you know difficult it can be to get through it. Even though I’m doing all that I can to get better – making my appointments and taking my medication – it doesn’t mean I’m getting better. It means I’m trying.
I’m going through a battle every single hour and I don’t have the luxury of just “chilling out” even though many people think that’s all I do. All I want is for others to understand that I’m trying the best I can to get better and that I’m anything but “lazy”.