Finding happiness is an endless search – a different career, relationship, holidays, material possessions, lifestyle, etc. It left me feeling quite the opposite. The result was more unhappiness, more dissatisfaction and less fulfillment.
So many people are currently embroiled in this search of finding happiness. Sadly, most people are searching for this in the wrong place. Places that exist outside of themselves.
The search will continue as long as the search continues.
If you want to end the search, there are 3 things that you must do.
1)Be prepared to go where others will not.
The search for truth does not involve looking anywhere outside of yourself. This might be a hard fact to conceive. You have been brought up believing that pleasures all arise outside. This is not true, and it’s leading most of you to misery. The fact is that all the pleasure and enjoyment that you need is deep within you. The other fact is that this can be one of the hardest places to go. You are more scared of going within than spending your life searching for the truth and coming up short. Some people believe that they have the courage to go within but most of the time this is superficial. They are too scared to strip away the layers and see the real truth. They believe it’s easier to live with the pain of not knowing. The pain of not knowing means you spend your life searching for something that you already have at your disposal.
To find the truth you have to be prepared to go where others will not. This means that you have to be beyond the mind. It will be momentary to begin with and then for longer and longer periods. The more you can do this, the more you increase your consciousness. The majority of people live unconsciously for their whole life.
When you go within you have to be brave enough to confront yourself, your behaviours and all your past conditioning. However, there you will find freedom from all the pain your mind has been creating.
I am not going to explain the HOW here. Eckhart Tolle has written a whole book, The Power of Now, which explains this so clearly and eloquently. I would be doing a huge disservice trying to summarise this into a couple of paragraphs. The point is that you have to become the observer/watcher of your thoughts and emotions (mind) and learn how to come into the present moment. It is a life changing book and one I highly recommend.
2)Be prepared to lose yourself to find yourself
You have misconceptions of who you are. You have given yourself an identity and have been working hard to build this up over the years. The more egotistical you are, the bigger this identity becomes. It is based on everything that you have or believe that you are – your status, wealth, physical appearance, possessions, beliefs. These ‘identifiers’ are all based on shaky ground. Shake them too much and your sense of self diminishes. You become sad and miserable. The thought that your identity may be taken away can make you scared and even aggressive.
When you go deeper within, you will realise that the identity that you have given yourself has little to do with who you really are. You will realise that all of the above mentioned can be taken from you at any time. True liberation comes when you accept that these things will come and go without changing who you are.
When confronted with the truth, this can be a hard lesson to learn. When the ego and the identity are threatened, the loss of self can seem life ending. This really is a blessing, even if it may not seem like it at the time. This may have to happen several times, before someone raises their consciousness to a higher level. Rather than viewing these as disastrous moments, they should be seen as what they are – an opportunity to break through. It’s an opportunity to break-through all the crap in to genuine awareness and presence.
So beware, sometimes you have to lose yourself to find yourself. Hanging in there, resisting the truth is self destructive and harmful to everyone around you. You have to let go of a lot. You have to surrender a lot of what you believed to be true in order for this to happen.
Be brave, it’s worth it.
3)Be prepared to give of yourself to others
When you raise your levels of consciousness, you will naturally attract others to you. This will happen whether you like it or not. The danger is beginning to help before you are truly ready. It can be easy to get drawn back into the dysfunction of the mind.
If this is the case, you will quickly be given a set of circumstances that will test if you are ready to help others. It will become clear to you and those around whether you are ready for this.
When the time is right, you will naturally start to help those who are ready and willing to open to new levels of consciousness. This is a two-way process. The benefits are not only for those that you are helping. Through relationship and genuine giving, you lose yourself. That is, you lose your mind identity. This raises your energy even higher. It is self perpetuating and one of the great joys of living.
I am thankful my search has now ended. It may take courage to go where others won’t and to lose yourself but it’s worth it. I now know that no matter what life throws at me or no matter what my circumstances are, I am still me. I am at peace. For me, a deep sense of peace is far superior to fleeting moments of happiness.
About the Author
Kelly Niven writes about personal growth, spirituality and mental health at Life is Now. Her passion is to help others maximise their mental health as they grow and manage life’s changes. Please visit her website at www.lifeisnow.co.uk. You can also find Kelly on Twitter – @KellyNiven