One day I will stop rehashing this relationship. One day I will focus on more positive areas of my life and build upon that instead. But today, again, I want to share something that will help you wake up and smell the coffee. Your boyfriend is a sociopathic monster. Face it! It’s not you, and it’s not your fault.
Now, since you have this on your face once again, let me explain why he acts the way he does. Yes, I say it once more, it’s not you, it’s him. He’s pretty well messed up.
The game and why he plays it
Sociopaths lack empathy, a basic emotion that helps us feel what others must feel. Empathy is not feeling bad for someone, that is sympathy, rather it is walking in their shoes, as the saying goes. Sociopaths will not or cannot do this. They almost always have their own interests in mind first. This is part of the reason they are abusive. Yes dear, they are abusive.
Recognize these situations?
So, you tell your boyfriend that something is bothering you. It could be a decision he has made or a purchase he plans to make. You see the irresponsibility involved and only want to give him your opinion. Most people in relationships are willing to compromise or stop doing something altogether. A sociopath will do what they want with no regard to the feelings of others, or their own responsibilities if it means giving in. Sociopaths do the opposite and then wait to see your reaction.
Then they punish you for your reaction. Sound familiar?
These actions are not mistakes, they are not performed because they are immature or ignorant. They know very well what they are doing, it is intentional! Do you want to know how you can tell if it is intentional? If they see that you are getting distant and ignoring their antics, they will shape up, do better, be kind, be rational and be sweet just to draw you back in to play the game again. Honey, it’s all about control and attention.
You are still fooled, and I get that. So was I.
A sociopath draws you in with her good looks, charm or false character. She talks about her morals and her life’s goals in such a way that it seems like she’s quite the catch. But beware, she is an expert at what she’s doing, probably because she has done this time and time again. Maybe she has learned this behavior from the one who abused her.
But she will be watching your reactions and seeking new ways to push buttons to alarm you, make you angry and give her a reason to feel wounded by your reaction.
If your relationship ends with her, you will look back and wonder what YOU did wrong, and not be able to recognize the manipulation that turned the tables on you.
Sociopaths also play the victim well and so many outside the relationship never see their true face. They can charm so well, that outsiders see your anger and reactions as the real problem during relationship squabbles. Sociopaths are toxic, they drain your energy and you will never win, whether you bow to their every whim or be the bad person when the relationship ends.
Honestly, if the sociopath is not willing to get help, your best option is the get out of the relationship and let others talk. If you know your character, this will be enough to free you from the monster and get your life started in the right direction. Be strong, when you are free, and don’t let negative thoughts take you back to the one who hurt you. Remember, it’s not you that has the problem.
Sociopaths are monsters and they need help.
Guess that’s a little harsh, but if it helps you keep a level head, then run with it.
