Initial Generosity Meets Unexpected Tensions
A 49-year-old man recounts his experience offering to pay for his stepdaughter’s wedding, only to encounter unanticipated issues. His willingness to finance the $200k event was met with complications when he requested his family members be invited, revealing underlying tensions.
Exclusion and Estrangement Come to Light
The situation intensified when it was discovered that children were excluded from the guest list, contradicting the inclusion of other family members’ children. Doubts were further fueled by the stepdaughter’s decision to have her absentee father walk her down the aisle, a move that shocked and angered the stepfather.
Financial Realizations and Relationship Strains
Upon scrutinizing the wedding budget, the man realized a significant portion of the funds was allocated for a lavish honeymoon and other expenses not previously agreed upon. This led to a confrontation about the misuse of his financial contributions, exacerbating the rift between him, his fiancée, and stepdaughter.
A Turning Point: Withdrawing Support and Facing Consequences
Feeling betrayed and used, the stepfather decided to withdraw his financial support and end his relationship with his fiancée and stepdaughter. This decision prompted him to start refund processes for the wedding and honeymoon expenses, uncovering further feelings of exploitation and disregard.
Moving Forward: Personal Losses and Gains
The conflict resulted in the loss of his fiancée and reduced contact with his young children, but also brought moments of vindication and appreciation from his oldest son. The stepfather plans to take his own children to Dubai, turning a painful situation into an opportunity for a personal stance and familial bonding.
Below is his story written by him:
I 49M will keep this as short as possible but basically my step daughter 25F wants to marry her boyfriend 25M which was fine and all, I had the money to pay for the wedding what could possibly go wrong?
Her father 54M has never been in the picture her whole life, he was a deadbeat father; Never took care of his daughter, never paid child support according to my fiancée anyway.
My step daughter was never rude with me and always showed respect so I always showed respect for her and bought all her the necessities she needed, maybe too much, now looking back I’m an effing ATM, what was I thinking? Anyway since I’m paying for a 200k wedding, I just asked for my mother and her 2 step siblings to receive invitations since they are her siblings, my fiancée and daughter were like cool we will, now obviously this could be a mistake but invitations come around, my step daughter informed me that she didn’t want any children at her wedding, but that seemed odd to me because my fiancée sister children were invited so why wasn’t her own siblings invited, I ask her and she said it was just a mistake, probably a red flag but we move.
A few days later my daughter in laws come to my house and a question was asked by the in-law targeting my daughter asking who’s going to walk her down the aisle, my daughter announced it was her deadbeat effing clown of a father, my fiancée was in shock from her announcement and my daughter kept going on about how they been in touch and the fact that he’s her true father and at that point, I lost it, I announced that her real father can pay for the wedding (He can’t lol) since I’m a check for my step daughter, my step daughter started screaming at me and all the guests left the house, my fiancée wasn’t too happy stating that I humiliated her in front of her in-laws and the fact they spent a year planning, I stated that I wasted 200k on an ungrateful brat (May be asshole for this) and spewed insults towards her father (As you can tell, I have hatred towards that man) so am I the asshole?
Lots of shit has happened these past few days and we have much to talk about.
I probably should have mentioned this in my previous post but I had nothing to do with the planning nor did I want anything to do with the planning, it was all my fiancée and step daughter planning well a lot of you was concerned with the price of the wedding and you guys made me concerned too.
So as some of you requested, I asked my fiancée about the planning of the wedding and I came to the conclusion that from asking that I’ve just been a check to my fiancée and step daughter this entire time. In the planning, the actual wedding itself would cost 40k which I can understand as there are over 400+ guests (we are south Asian) and the rest of 160k was spent on a honeymoon to Dubai; in this list of people, it contained my fiancée and her sister family, my step daughter, her man along with his parents and this invitation disgusts me her deadbeat f******* father.
At that point I went ballistic, I never agreed to pay for the honeymoon, only the f****** wedding and a honeymoon is supposed to be for the newly weds and my fiancée said this so calmly without any regret and expected me to be ok paying for other people’s holidays and how could she possible be sane to think it was a calm and rational idea to invite the man who she claimed refused to pay child support and was verbally a******.
I lost my cool and f******* told her that she and her daughter took advantage of my money and was selfish to leave her 2 young children alone with me (I work 45 hours at my business) and decided it would be a good idea to invite her deadbeat ex who literally tried to lay his hands on me years ago, she responded by saying it was her daughter idea, I then replied to her and said you and your daughter have 7 days to get out of my house and she started her circus act but there was no going back.
I then began the process of moving forward, I changed all my card pins so no more of my money can be used and I began the refund process, I contacted the venues and they were actually really nice and offered refund but it will take a couple working days maybe weeks for a refund. As for the tickets to Dubai well let’s just say I’m a lucky b***** as I was able to refund the tickets (75k) since I was still in fare conditions while the tickets were unused which brought excitement to me. It hurt so much thinking how these people who haven’t worked as hard as I have, thought it would be a good idea to use my money on first class ticket to Dubai.
My fiancée told her daughter that I refunded the wedding and she didn’t take it well, I won’t go into too much detail as I have talked long enough but I was petty at the end and said that her real dad can pay for it.
This has been a s*** show of a couple days, I can’t see my 2 young children every day now and I have lost my fiancée but some good news my oldest son (25M) gave his newborn son my surname which made me smile, at least someone appreciates me.
Edit: I’m going to take my kids to Dubai, who doesn’t love petty revenge?
