Self Improvement

Why Women Leave Men They Love: What Every Man Needs to Know.

  • I see opposite of that

  • Good to know this

  • I agree. It goes both ways.

  • It does go both ways yes totally. Question is: if true genuine love is present, why don’t you forgive n work harder on fixing it rather than just walk away? Wondering though

    • Typically women forgive and sacrifice alot in a relationship. However if tthe other doesn’t bother to meet them even a quarter of the way and continue with their behavior then why be engaged in that relationship. Women tolerate many things until our self worth becomes dissolved. Then we give one last effort until we can no longer accept the selfish behavior. We are not doormats.

    • Katie Kathleen thank u for the comment. I only said “if true genuine love is present” that obviously from both sides, love, care, attention, forgiveness, and the desire to fight for the relationship to grow,, alllllllllllllll the above has to be mutual alllllllllll the above is fueld by love….. “Only if love is mutual” as I said :)))))

  • Very good article and yes it goes both ways but I see this so much in female friends that’s married. man don’t take interest, more interest in cars, sports etc. Never explore the wonderful universe called woman.

    • Very true Dev C. Very true

    • Paul

      That’s their fault – they get what they deserve. The guy who wasn’t macho, and into stupid sports, cars, and other “manly” things, was considered a “nice guy” and passed by or called gay. So she went with the jerk instead who is out sitting in a tree waiting to shoot an animal instead of ‘sleeping late’ in bed with her on a Sat morning.

  • You gonna leave me?

  • Camryn Sawyer haha I know because if you did I’d come for you not in like a murderous way haha

  • Love you love bug

  • What when boy is hindu n girl is muslim

  • I’m sorry but that’s a lame excuse. The fact that it’s the man’s fault not the woman’s is actually proof there’s no love because love doesn’t give up. The fact that it’s an excuse is because the woman doesn’t love herself and is whole inside already she can’t love nor feel love because she wants love in her defined way. Why can’t one see that the man may have an issue or be hurting and needs a woman to love him in a way to get him to open up and be able to stop keeping so busy in avoiding his inner pain. She needs to save him and make it so he wants to be home. Many times a man will try or do things in hopes that he will be noticed, or reach out or be present but was not received by the woman as needed and so he shut down. There’s no excuse for one side or another but to get what we want from a partner we must be giving it to them and stop expecting or looking to recieve it in a certain way.
    My ex was always getting mad at me for things I said. No matter how I tried to talk to her in the ways she requested that each time the way was wrong. So it was not how I said it or how much I tried that it wasn’t what she wanted to her at all period. She never cared and it shows because if she did then she would have noticed my effort and how hard I tried over and over. She only saw it her way not trying to see it from mine. It’s not fair to say that I didn’t love or give her the attention because I did. To have put in so much effort that went unseen or noticed over it not being in her defined way destroyed the happy home refuge and made it into a place to not be. I don’t blame her or anything but it’s sad for me to think that people never see or understand the whole story to something before making it into a fault of one or the other.

  • Someone could come sweep me off my feet , right underneath my husband …. As if she doesn’t have a choice !!! Sounds like whoever wrote this article is a special kind of snowflake . This is very one sided . The problem could be the women doesn’t talk about what she wants or expects and expects the man to read their minds . And seriously if she complains that a guy works to much to support her and the kids , she’s not paying attention to him either . No man likes to work all those long hours , they do it because they love their family .

    • Adam Whitmer

      In most cases that I come across, and experiencing this first hand, it is exactly that. Women have every opportunity and option available to them… they just don’t know what they want.

      • Jose Ferreira

        Not all woman, (even if it happens to be your present girlfriend) need/want your attention. Maybe you haven’t yet found the “one”. I believe that there are certain beings that are meant to be together, but we normally are not interested in understanding why it is so, and how beautiful it is to find someone that stays in our lives till the end of our physical lives. We want experience different relationships, from one to another, without thinking of why we do that and why it is so difficult to make it last? What are we expecting from our relationships, are they really good at heart intentions? Of growing together in this amazing journey on planet Earth! Good luck to all the ones that really want a lovegly relationship. Thank you. Maria

    • Leia Organe

      This article is exactly my case. I have a full time job and we don’t have kids but my now estranged husband never gives me the attention I deserve. I feel like a housemate living with him. I did let him know what I want and need but nothing changed so I don’t think you are fair with your comment

      • Dave

        I know my wife feels the same way as the woman in this article and I have to acknowledge that I am guilty of those same things. Now Im trying to educate myself but I think its too late. I love her but I never acknowledged it properly or gave her the respect she deserved. I will have to live with that for the rest of my life.

        • LoisTyli

          Oh, Dave. Keep trying. So many men refuse to acknowledge what you just did. You’re miles ahead of those in the same situation as you. If your wife sees it and believes it is sincere, and that it will last, you’ll win her back. That does put some onus on her, too, of course. To be willing to forgive, acknowledge how she may have perpetuated problems. But if she has the kind of heart that you just displayed, I’m confident you two can work it out.

          But don’t just educate yourself, DO things to show you’re making a change. There was an article circulating a week or so ago by a professional journalist who felt his marriage was on the brink. He changed one thing: in the morning, he asked, sincerely, “what can I do today that will make your day better?” She was suspicious, but he did it, happily. And he kept doing it, happily. I don’t remember how long it was, but it wasn’t very long before she let the walls down and cried with him and they both re-committed to their marriage and it worked. Again, I don’t recall the exact number, but the number that pops up in my head is 7 years since he started that, and they are happy and still together.

  • Some how a good percentage, it’s always the man who is wrong when there are relationship problems. Couples need to learn to communicate with each other when there are relationship dissatisfaction. Also, why is it in almost all similar article of this nature, there is an underline warning of possible infidelity by the woman if the man doesn’t guess why a woman is unhappy.

  • i see some feminist writing 😀 😀

  • hmmm , so if women are to busy at work , ect , does this also go for why a man might leave a relationship

  • relationships are hard , both are working out , no time to bond properly , life is so short people have to choose to loose something in order to keep something , your job or your relationship , and i know most have no choice , they need the money

  • so very true.

  • She just wants to be with a ‘bad boy’ again and wonder where the good guys are.

  • There is a note at the end of the article that says the gender dynamic can be reversed. It can go both ways. But in my opinion good communication and generally having things in common is important. Plus, What man wants to come home from that job that takes up so much of his time and attention if the woman he’s coming home to is all bent out of shape because he was gone in the first place? It’s just common sense that if you want him (or her) to “want” to be there, make it the most inviting place to be at the end of the day. It takes both to make it or to break it.

  • Katie Burke, thoughts?

    • Sort of agree with below commenter… This is click bait playing on gender stereotypes. The point the counsellor is making is a decent point, but it goes both ways. Not to mention its always incredibly dangerous when you start to make sweeping generalisations- ‘women want this’ ‘men are busy fishing’!

  • Katie Stancell-Wroten

  • Nowhere did he say men were at fault for anything. He asked men to spend quality time with their wives and take the time to really listen. It goes both ways.

  • Soooooo true

  • Wow…this is so true. Thanks for having the guts to post it

  • Sometimes you gotta leave vs feeling abandoned.

  • Never thought about it this way but it is true.

  • No women leave men who don’t know how to LOVE!

  • It’s gone the other way for me. I did everything they say a man should do…so ladies, as noted at the end of the article…it goes both ways. Their loss. Oh, look for a knight, not a king. I’m a knight, and one day a Queen may enter my life.

  • You left out a women leaves a man she loves because he CHEATS

  • Interesting…

  • I believe this article is narcissistic!

  • Oh so true.

  • Wow, isn’t that the truth?

  • This is what true love is all about. Just as you feel real passion for something else in your life (I don’t know, music or fishing or social causes, you name it), this same passion is what drives woman crazy.

  • Like it matters.

    • Oh, it matters! If you think it doesn’t, then that’s a problem.

    • No, there’s a problem if you don’t know it and she stays. Typical response, move on, she left

  • I can see this being true in many situations but believe me it’s not true in all of them. Sometimes woman also leave good men because they are selfish as well. In a “me” consumerism driven culture there are also people searching for the next best thing because life “revolves around them” and they deserve “to be on a pedestal” this goes for men and women, I’ve stopped dating for years because this mentality disgusts me, and I’m not pouring my heart into someone that enjoys me until the next source of entertainment comes along . . *** That! People will say everything in the world to please your ears, but you need to watch who they are through their actions.

  • When you don’t care what do you think might happen in the world ???

    That’s why parents don’t care about giving their children a diet of animal flesh and dairy that takes ten years off their life !!!

    That causes heart attacks cancer and strokes when they could EASILY give them a much healthier diet !!!

    BUT THEY DONT !!!!

    THE PARENTS don’t want to give up their precious meat and dairy that’s the obvious source of unnecessary killing or EVIL as its known and that’s MORE important than their OWN children living LONGER in a peaceful world !!!

    You want less unnecessary KILLING ???


    Real simple !!!

    That’s why greed is a deadly sin !!!

    And what’s more greedy than eating the flesh of an animal you don’t even need to KILL ????


    That’s why parents don’t care about the OBVIOUS psychological consequences of forcing their OWN highly emotionally complex children to unnecessarily KILL the animals they love by eating them **WHILE** watching the SAME animals the are eating on TV and like a brainless zombie think NOTHING will happen to their child ????

    That’s what greed does turns you into a brain dead zombie you can’t even care for your OWN children !!

    But don’t you swear around my kids !!!

    That’s why they destroy themselves with toxic sugar that kills three times more than smoking EVERY year, every chance they get and grow up and do it with addiction to distract themselves from the torment of eating animals they have NO CHOICE but loving the same as anyone else they love because love is not a light switch it cannot bend that greedy selfish humans think they can just switch on and off and FORCE their children to do the same and UNNECESSARILY KILL with their teeth animals they love equally and for there to be NO consequences from this unnecessary evil ???? unnecessary killing IS EVIL !!! that’s what the self harm of addiction IS a distraction with pain from the subconscious torment of killing animals they love that’s experienced as pleasure !!!

    And parents don’t CARE as long as they have their lump of animal flesh !!!

    You don’t care you CANT CARE !!!

    You don’t care for the animals you unnecessarily KILL with your teeth you end up in a world full of people who dont CANT care for NOTHING !!!



    You reap what you sow !!!

    Darker and darker it gets !!!

    What will it take ?????

    Let’s see !!!….

  • Im not going to read this and allow this article to pollute my brain. I dont someone else to tell me how to love

    • How close-minded.

    • Sariah Reeser. If something is going to change something about me that I dont need changing then yes I’m close minded.

  • Its already too late!

  • So why do you not advise them not to leavetheir Husbands ?

  • True, too.

  • Chad

    Why are women always so demanding. They always WANT something. Why? What is the reason?

  • This is so true!!

  • excellent and so true

  • The women say ‘so true’ whilst the men say ‘what rot!’

  • Sad, but so true.

  • Maybe u take some advice.

  • Yeah so its true you are gonna end up doing it

  • Women have been watching too many rom coms.

  • Do you see your wife/ husband..I mean really see them with conscious effort.When you do,you are totally present and he/she will feel connected to you.Practice this several times a day and eventually you will become deliberate in your actions.

  • yup

  • Because they are selfish and can’t possibly love someone as much as themselves because they feel cheated by themselves because they are an emotional mess especially as they age they will only find someone for there survival and possessions

  • Thanks to the Mgtow movement many men already have the knowledge they need to not fall victim to womens way of thought

  • Nice to see this very good advice noted to be applicable to women and men.

  • It is true!

  • Sexist article works both ways

  • Works both ways indeed , so tired of hearing the same rubbish about how it always seams to be men’s fault for everything from being crap fathers ext ext ext , sorry but women’s come with there own sets of challenges and head storms … no offence ladies but real women’s will totally agree with me ….

    • Beat me to it, the title
      Should be

      “why people who are in love can still leave each other: what everyone in relationships need to know”

    • What do think of people’s who can’t commit, dangerous or not ? If you see why I mean

    • It seams like no one person ever seams the same than the other , is it due to lack of common interests of just rubbish excuses

    • Yes I do but it’s the person not the gender that’s important

  • only woman leave because of this?

    • nikitajosephine

      did you see the last line of the article? Note: The gender dynamic outlined above is reversible. It can go both ways.

  • This post is right on ,Mr cansolor wow !

  • Simplistic explication

  • Daimien McGuire please read this.

  • You should have educated them.

  • Ohh lord…..

  • Georgenmary

    A hobby, can be like a mistress.
    She takes time away from his wife; their life together.
    She is fun and exciting. His wife is work, bills, domestic…boring
    He spends long hours in the garage with her.
    He shops for her.
    He buys her things; He spends a lot on her.
    He travels for her.
    He gets up e a r l y for her.
    He talks to his friends about her.
    She takes up his Sundays.
    He makes plans.
    He plans with her in mind.
    She is on his mind all the time, ’till the next time they’ll meet.
    She’s all he talks about; there are many, many words in his mouth about her.
    How she looks, how cool she is, how exciting she is.
    His interest to learn about her is so intense, that he’s constantly on-line to read the blog’s about her.
    He gets the accompanying magazine to lay his eyes on her.
    He takes pictures of her; videos of her too.
    He shares those with his friends.
    Yes…a hobby can be like a mistress
    Where’s the balance?

  • whoson2nd

    I think this article is so much ****. Women, like men, can’t have it both ways. Once she starts complaining about their standard of living, he will need to get up off the couch and earn a living…once he starts earning a living and the standard of living rises, she’s going to complain that he’s never there. Make up your mind which one you desire the most! There are many rich husbands whose wives mess around because their husbands are not there supporting their desire to have a high standard of living! If you want a higher standard of living, or desire all those sparkly trinkets many women desire, ONE of you is going to need to be absent for a substantial amount of time

  • Nate

    I think it’s a little more complex than that–that they just want the man to be present–because it seems it would be a simple enough thing to fix right? So why isn’t it? I think all this really highlights is the difference between men and woman…and that some woman are just easily bored and ‘want to have fun’. Men get comfortable and happy and the woman get itchy feet and want to see what else they can get. What you called ‘aliveness’ is actually just a childlike immaturity similar to the excitement of going to a theme park. Being alive for them is about thrills. A lot of woman are simply basic bitches. That’s the hard truth.

  • Dingus O’Malley

    lol, ever hear of “communication”? seriously, if you have marital problems, talk about it, get counseling, learn to work on it. if progress isn’t being made on BOTH sides, then maybe it’s time to move on. the author should stay out of relationships until she gets her codependency issues sorted out

  • Brandon Taylor

    This is crap, women leave because they’re out there doing the same s##t that they accuse men of doing, then they realize they are hypocrites, and it smacks them in the face every time they look at there husband, case in point the article said women are leaving ” good ” men, hardworking good fathers, everything we have to hear all the time from single women when they say, I’m looking for a good man, they attract a good man get married then leave because he works to much? Huh? Are you kidding? That thinking is psychotic,

  • Marta

    Sometimes women leave the men they love for a different reason. Anger, aggression towards the family. I loved my husband but I left to save kids and myself. He apologized many times but failed.

  • Kirill Nightwolf Chesvin

    Depends on how much the woman is naive and shortsighted.. After mr Joe sweeps her with a thousand roses, and a romantic trip, and spending whole days with her.. he either goes to his full time job just like me, to cover up the expenses, either the lady finds out that she just ruined her family for a dysfunctional hipster that isn’t even working on a regular basis.

  • Charles

    Experience is my barometer; The term damned if you do and damned if you don’t is simply a double bind. I once had a wife who wanted a man who worked 9-5, had evenings free, made tons of money, a life without stress, a nice house, nice furniture, newer vehicles, nice clothes et al. Just so happens for many years are a single employed family, me working the construction trades. Residential work has weather related issues from time to time and consequently there are short weeks and some longer weeks. With a larger family it was difficult to meet monetary responsibilities, eventually my wife went back to school, got a degree and went into the world of economics. For the life of me could never figure out why we could not live within our means, so took on side contracts but was gone all day, into the evenings and Saturdays and once in a while a Sunday. It was the extra money I earned which provided reliable work trucks and equipment. It also provided new furniture, better family vehicles, home up grades and remodeling, clothing for the children yet never made enough money to satiate the “monetary issues.” Truth of the matter was when I earned the extra money which went into the family coffers then the expectation was we should always live to that level of income. Still between our two basic jobs we should have been able to live within our means yet never set aside money for the future and if there was a short week I was expected to make up the financial difference which was done. Never had enough it seemed and that single issue played a huge part in our eventual demise as a couple. Damned for not making enough, Damned because I was gone so often trying to improve our living and lives. And when the day came where my wife said she would like to cut back her hour’s and work part time, when asked the question who was going to make up the difference the answer was “you”. It went over poorly. She being the money manager in the home.

  • JMarin

    Ah! The note… should be on top, it changes all the reading and our feelings towards the article, i loved a woman and i had to go on with my life, and i’m still very hurt and reading always “bad men” “good women” (taking someone for granted is a bad thing) it’s unfair. I think this type of articles could start to use “partner” instead of making only man/woman and caracterize the men in one way and women in another way. Man towards man, woman toward woman, woman towards man, man towards woman, what matters is the feeling, and this is not a “political correct” comment, i think it’s more “pc” always putting men in one position and women in other.

  • dewdly

    Women leave because their childbearing function is unfulfilled, set aside, or interrupted. Women who have babies a regular intervals are far less likely to feel abandoned. Contraception is the unrecognized culprit in “relationships” as well as marriage. It is no accident that most relationships can’t survive much beyond the 2-3 year sexual cycle of the female.

  • Mr RCX

    A question to be asked here is why the husband may have given up to show his passion… In my case 1 year (she says 6 months, but 1 day would have been bad enough) of “don’t get excited, I cannot help you” every time I did approach her, even if it was for a good night kiss, which lead to intimacy zero (once every 4 or 6 months, in average, a very sad thing). A “not the kind of flowers I like” when I sent flowers, a big quarrel over an “happy valentine day” I told her, because “she does not believe in this kind of festivities”, and so on, piled up to the point that I gave up. I gave up also on respecting myself as a man, and compensated the lack of HER passion with food, obviously making the all situation worse. Wasn’t I in love, had I no passion, I would have simply gone to another woman, and kept respecting myself while ignoring the wife. She end up leaving me, and kids, as the article suggests a woman with a husband with no passion would do. Yes the picture painted in the article may be very much the situation we were in when she left, but what caused that situation to take place, may be also something to think about. I am still devastated after one and a half years since she left, and I doubt I will ever forgive her for this. But in days like today, where I am unable to work as my kids needs the attention, and I have to cover up for both mom and dad… well, it hurts me to be “judged” by her sharing of this articles in Facebook, as a way to “clear the consciousness” of what she has done, as this article would support and justify her choice to leave me and kids.

    • doodlebugrusty

      Why not actually PAY ATTENTION to what she actually likes? Why not LISTEN and actually hear what she wants. That is the biggest problem with men. They don’t want to bother with hearing the real woman. They want to do the minimum for the relationship. “what I want to do should be good enough”, “why can’t she be happy with what I am willing to give”. The reason is because she wants to matter enough that you PAY GD attention to what she loves, and wants and needs. She wants your focus, your attention, you to understand what is important to her. You are not hearing the message of this lesson. You are blaming the victim, your wife, for your self pity, instead of accepting responsibility for not focusing on her and HER needs. That is why women leave men they love. They lose the love because they realize that all that man ever wanted was someone to love them, not actually focus on someone other than their own egos. Women give, and give, and give. Until they can’t anymore. If we want someone who is selfish and doesn’t care what we want, we’ll get a cat. It’s cleaner and easier to take care of. And, they listen!

      • Lara Timms

        If I’m bought flowers I would NEVER criticise my partner over the kind they are. Often times he’s stole them from gardens on his way home after a drink or two. My god! It cuts both ways. Cut this man some slack. His wife walked, not only on him but her kids. Sounds like she sat back and waited for him to fix everything without actually doing anything herself. Like most people who leave, she’s chasing the greener grass which doesn’t exist in most cases. She also seems to have thought nothing of breaking her children’s hearts to pursue her own selfishness.
        Mr RCX, you’re well rid. Make sure you open your heart so the right person sees you.
        You don’t deserve to be alone.

      • Carol Creutz

        Agree to that fully. But it is significant that she left her children.

    • Carol Creutz

      Your wife seems to be an anomaly. I kow of no woman who leave her children behind. There is somehthng else going on with her.

      • Fred Mannheim

        Sometimese women don’t want to be mothers, but did it only because that was what society expected of them. To many people do only what society expects them to do and they lose touch with themselves until finally they either break completely free or they lose themselves completely. Just because she was born with a uterus, does not mean she is ordained to be a Mother.

    • KJ

      It’s ok to move forward. Don’t dwell in the past. Carry your baggage well and head for a new destination. The reality of all men and women who are married is that you may lose…what you have, you enjoy it while your able to. You strengthen it until you can. You have to learn to be good to yourself first. Sometimes, as a man it means putting your needs ahead so you can better care for others. You must always choose good over nice. You must always Maintain being passionate about life. you have to be uncompromising with your core self while learning love unconditionally as a man. You have to work in emotions. You my friend,…you need to get on track to become powerful again. Don’t worry about her, she made her bed and articles like this have truth but rarely take into account what men struggle with emotionally in connecting with women.

    • Kelly Hohneck

      The five love languages is a good book, sounds like your love language is gifts or touch, mayby hers were words of affection or acts of service. Its interesting read to see how different folk express and experience live. We are not all wired the same way and often times just miss what the other is trying to express.

  • disqus_bcvGPvbREa

    I have to say I was guilty of this and i lost someone I truly loved because of it…I have made that change in my life to be more in touch with my inner self and to be present for everyone I encounter but when we lived together i allowed the day to day stress of work, her kids, and other responsibilities overshadow what was at one time a deeply connected and very passionate relationship…she put up with it for far too long because she always hoped I would awaken again but I was so caught up in my own isht that I didn’t realize what I was doing to her, diminishing her, making her feel less than the beautiful sexy woman she is…we broke up and now somebody else has come into her life and has reminded her…and I wish I could have another chance with her but I don’t think life works that way…I’ll only get to be a better man for myself and a future woman…

  • Jokka

    Women are extremely rational about CHOOSING the man for father of her children and to live with. They also are highly rational if the man do not accomplish some important tasks about the security of the relationship. When the relation is about to begin women are very cautious about the reputation of the man and if the man do not stand some levels the relation will not begin. Women are sensible but also very rational. Men are the inverse. If a man loves, wants a woman, he will forget everything else about her and will concentrate 100% on the woman.

    • Fred Mannheim

      You’re being to general. All women are not the same anymore than all men are the same.