Many of us complain that in today’s world, true love is hard to find. But is it really so? Maybe, we are at fault. We have defined love in a way that may not be right. Whenever we fall in love with someone, we also come in contact with our partner’s flaws. And immediately, we try to fix these flaws in our partner without accepting them in their true form. We don’t love someone for who they are.
We have found the shortcut to loving others.
Change a person, and make them an ideal – an ideal person that you have imagined in your mind. But love is so much harder than that. Love is about accepting the person you have at the moment – accepting everything of that person, including the flaws.
Love is accepting that person, even when the going gets tough.
If you fall in love with a person who does not fit your idea, and if you choose to change them, then you are trying in vain. They will not change to fit your idea of a proper person. Love is not about satisfying your own obsession or idea.
The problem with the concept of love for this generation is that we have forgotten the difference between fake love and real love. We are only trying to force our partners to change and fit a vision we imagine. However, we can all try to push our partners to be better than they are now, without forcing them. You should respect your partner’s boundaries and not cross them.
Forcefully changing someone is selfish, and real love can never be selfish. People may not be perfect, and that is ok. You can love someone with their flaws. However, people will also grow better over time, and they will work on their flaws as well. It doesn’t matter if they eventually change or not. What matters is that you, as a partner, should support them through every difficult time. You should work on the relationship as much as your partner works on the relationship.
Change for yourself, don’t change for another.
You cannot be in a relationship where a partner loves only a part of you and not the whole of you. If you find true love, you will feel free and comfortable to show your real self. You can get rid of all your pretenses. You are human, you have wounds, you have desires. And all that is absolutely ok. There is no need to change anything.
Because a true partner will love you anyway.
Some of the signs of real love are:
- Mutual support
- Caring for one another
- Not trying to change or fix your partner
- Having similar values and final goals in life
- Being comfortable with one another
- Freely communicating with one another
- Not ignoring one another
- Accepting that your partner has flaws and that’s ok
- Not feeling like something’s missing between the two of you