Self Improvement

The Toxic Attraction Between An Empath And A Narcissist

  • Tess

    Love your website and articles. I love that I’ve been finding other empaths, such of yourself, who are proud of it. HSP I explain to few.

    What an appropriate article to find when I’m restless over the Narcissist relatives I’m getting over.
    (I made them mad being sensitive, I was conditioned to be ashamed of it, like I was defected)

    Even better that you write and are in computer science. Which helps inspire me to write and pursue Web Developing. Both terrified of being less than perfect in either subject. I have no computer science background but my boyfriend is a graphic designer and suggest my introverted self will thrive in such a field. I got too sick pursuing Nursing.

    Anyway,
    I’m slowly coming out of my shell, thank you for your resources. I look forward to passing these resources on.

  • i am an empath, survivor of two long standing narcissistic abusers. i have never gone over to the dark side,realising what was going on and leaving when it was obvious nothing could be done.i did not know anything about the condition, but knew there were serious problems that i could not help with.now i know, i will be able to avoid such monsters.

  • Any of the empathic people I have ever known had at least one narcissistic parent or caregiver. Maybe we become empathic as a way to survive growing up with a narcissist. Then we grow up and we are attracted to what we are used to – narcissists.

  • Absolutely correct…walk away is the only solution

  • So insightful

  • I did not walk away soon enough…. I am still healing but, getting better. ,feel right plaese, walk away

  • I learned x

  • AlexisMarie please read this.

  • Nick Ruggiano

    You sound more jaded than anything. An empath with a broken heart can be more dangerous then the narcissist. At least the narcissist probably won’t writing an article about it. lol There are only two choices Love or fear, both people are projecting their own fears on to the other person and unconsciously play them out with each relationship getting hurt over and over until the lessons are learned to grow as a person, some get stuck, others evolve. If you don’t keep an open heart , you aren’t learning anything. That persons actions had alot to do with your fears, how many times have you had the same relationship with a narcissist. It will happen with another empath if boundaries are established to keep your center of balance. Choose love, we are all one.

  • Really need to stop reading this shit, ugh.

  • Thomas Canty

    Good point Nick. The narcissistic person is what they are, but the bigger question is WHY did we stay with them. It is never about them, you have to look at your own motives and underlying trauma. They weren’t just attracted to YOU, YOU were attracted to THEM. For some reason the empath gets a free pass because their motives are presumed morally superior? Even if the motives are genuine, the dysfunction still exists and perpetuates in these relationships.

  • Dorothy F. Shaw

    I can agree with this article in part. Biggest issue I have is that a person cannot simply become a narcissist. A true narcissist, with true narcissistic personality disorder, is not suddenly created and it caused during adulthood. It’s a mental personality disorder.

    http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder/basics/definition/con-20025568

    It’s true that most humans carry narcissistic “traits” and maybe even some more than others, but you can’t just become a real deal, narcissist.
    And there’s no way in hell, an empath could ever be a narcissist. It’s not in their emotional DNA make-up. Can they be hurt, jaded, even withdraw from giving as they do? Sure. But that’s about as far as it would go.
    You can’t change a giving heart. Just like you can’t make a narcissist be anything other than dead inside with no soul.

  • There are different types of narcissists and they do know the damage they cause, they just don’t care. Their own needs and comfort are all they care about. As an empath, I learned to have strong boundaries with narcissistic people. I keep away from any I do not have to have in my life. They don’t change, but are unwilling to change, not unable to. It is also necessary to know narcissism is a continuum. Highly narcissistic people who do not necessarily meet the criteria for NPD can still be emotionally abusive, very selfish and draining to be around.

  • Great read, well written thank you!

  • For the most part I agree with your article. When your parent is practicing a level of narcissism it becomes difficult.
    I believe there are different levels of empathism also. This subject can be so involved and turn into a long continuous conversation that I will say this Narcissistic People can change their behaviors but most likely it will be in baby steps. To Love unconditionally is the hardest thing to put forth in ones life.

  • Whoever wrote this…feels glad that you’ve survived. Last four lines sums it all. 🙂

  • It was toxic … That was me and my ex narcissist bf

  • Well, some interesting thoughts. As stated in the article that this is a “theory”, isn’t not a theory but it is a hypothesis. There’s a blurring of definitions of narcissist and empathy that I find are too broad. There are important distinctions that aren’t being addressed like Narcissistic Personality Disorder or someone with narcissistic traits. Also, a “narcissist” won’t accept your invitation. They probably wouldn’t waste time reading your article. A NPD doesn’t know they’re hurting your feelings, that’s not a guideline they utilize in social interactions. There are many definitions of “empathy” and different types of empathy ranging from healthy to unhealthy traits. I think there are some good ideas here. It could be multiple articles exploring this idea in more depth and clarity.

  • Except, Social Psychopathy does not result from experience, it is a genetic condition.

  • My mother was a narcissist – talking to a wonderful counselor – describing some situations with my mother and she asked me if I was adopted. Made me laugh.

  • What kind of spells does this Empath class have cause I was thinking of rerolling.

  • Seven years of a hella bad relationship took me 2 years to recover from, Crazyest shit for sure and that attraction is dangerous, sucked the life out of me

  • Tammy Tescher

  • Everyone says: – You attract this.
    And still don’t know exactly how. Been human? Gentle?

    • What happens though after an experience like this is that the empath becomes stronger and less trusting so therefore less vulnerable ever again. Its a harsh lesson

    • Debra Lord exactly!!

  • #jameslambrightmckendree

  • Alysha Elizabeth

  • J.D. Soliz

  • Zoooo herkenbaar …..

  • The narcissist then sucks the life out of the empath.

  • Melissa Shaw

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