People who are hard on themselves go through quite the struggle. We wish we could say we’re ambitious over-achievers because that’s who we are and not because we’re trying to validate ourselves.
Those who are hard on themselves understand trying to be a perfectionist, knowing perfection can’t be achieved and that it’s okay:
1. We’re our own worst enemies.
It came from being bullied and harassed in the past. All those toxic words sliced through our heart, making a home in the way we see ourselves. Whenever we mess up, we play the blame game mostly on ourselves.
2. We treat social situations like exams.
We mentally face palm ourselves after a conversation – sometimes physically after said conversation – because we tend to treat social situations like taking exams. We feel like we have to get every word and sentence right as if it were a formula.
3. We sometimes coach ourselves.
Because we tend to get easily discouraged by the mistakes we make, we have to pep talk ourselves into moving forward. We know we can’t live life to the fullest if we spend it wallowing in self-pity.
4. To the point where we become perfectionists.
Must. Be. Perfect.
5. But that’s because want to get things right.
We just can’t settle for average when it comes to our work. It has to go above and beyond what we’re capable of. We won’t allow failure to be an option.
6. Our mistakes haunt us at night.
There will always be those nights when the moment our head hits the pillow, our brain goes hey, remember that one thing you did 5 years ago? and there goes our sleep…
7. We’re a little paranoid about people around us.
We wonder if people actually like us. Sure it’s great to be loved, but we wonder if we’re liked because we’d rather people like us for who we are than love the idea of who we could be.
8. We’re highly critical of ourselves.
We’re very self-aware. From our outfits to the way we talk to even what to drink at the bar, we’re always overly conscious of it all. We know it’s a bit ridiculous but we sometimes can’t help but play it safe.
9. And when someone is critical of us…
We literally freak out in our heads. We understand most of the criticism comes with good intentions, but it doesn’t erase the fact that it’s a critique. We wish we could be mature about it, but we can’t.
10. We’re emotionally guarded.
We keep our emotions inside because most of us have been emotionally abused by someone we loved. Their this-is-what’s-wrong-with-you speeches and gas lighting is what hardened our hearts to the world. We’re careful to be vulnerable because we fear the potential consequences of it.