Sometimes, love and attachment gets twisted into one another. Sometimes, the lines get so blurred, that you become blind to what is happening around you. And you can’t tell what is real anymore.
But, the difference between unhealthy attachment, and true love is in fact clear as day.
Attachment is needing. It’s toxic. It’s only being ok when you are with that person. It is not being able to live without them. It is thinking that they are the reason you are on this earth. It is the idea that you are not complete without that person.
Love is falling without even realizing it. It’s slow. It’s delicate. It’s being ok without that person. It’s letting that person have their own space. It’s wanting what is best for that person, even if it means not being in their life anymore. It’s accepting that sometimes, what is best for you, is not best for them.
Attachment is clingy.
It is 24/7 thoughts of them. It is letting other relationships fade because the one with him is the most important. It is not accepting life without them. It is not being happy on your own. It is always being afraid they will leave. It is always being anxious about your future with them.
Love is accepting that what is meant to be, will be.
It is being your own person outside of that relationship. It is being happy on your own, and with your other friendships. It is not being afraid of your future with this person. Because you are confident in that love. And you are confident it will withstand anything if that is what is meant to be.
Attachment is not seeing this persons flaws. It is thinking they are pure perfection and they can do no wrong. It is defending this person even if they hurt you. It is a constant cycle of blindness.
Love is fighting. It is having real arguments about life. It is seeing this person’s flaws and accepting them. It is loving this person despite their poor qualities. It is communication about your problems. It is communication about your differences, and what makes your relationship hard. It is work. It is always hard work.
Attachment is easy. Because it isn’t real. It isn’t true love. It’s just a blurry line of insecurities and self hatred.
Love isn’t easy. It’s hard. It’s compromise. It’s sweat and tears. It’s hardships and reconciliation. It’s fights and makeups.
Attachment is just surface level communication. It is dangerous. It is believing they are the only thing that matters in your life.
Love is letting them go if that is what is needed. It is letting fate take it’s course. It is accepting that it is not meant to be. And it is being okay even if it hurts like hell. Because you know love like that will come again.And you’ll be fine.
Credits: Thought Catalog.
Love is a state of mind.
Tim Gath Anders Grønbech Nielsen det kan i lære noget af i jeres ægteskab
I don’t really agree with all the fighting stuff.
I took that to mean..you’re not afraid to express yourself about a problem for fear of losing that person. I could be wrong, I’m just starting to figure this stuff out
I think people can express themselves, and disagree without arguing.
Well, I hope so anyway.
same with me
The best theory i’ve read about love is that love is not a feeling. Love is an action. And if love is ‘hard’, or ‘a lot of work’ then to me it doesn’t seem meant to be. I’ve experienced ‘hard work love’ and what i have now is not work at all. It’s a joy.
So attachments are wrong as per this article. I’m sad for the writer. There is a clear difference between the attachment and obsession. Cheers 🙂 next time, happy writing!!
So does it mean that I was just attached to my ex husband for 2years?
In my opinion, Love and attachment are parallel lines that don’t meet yet they help in the voyage.
People love at first, then can get attached, Or get attached and Love being attached. But it’s fear that sneaks in and corrupts this relationship, may it be Love or may it be Attachment. Fear leads to possessiveness, which can give birth to doubt as well, It then suffocates any relationship. This was one case mostly for females but it can happen with males as well until any one the individual matures and accepts reality of life and that it’s not a fantasy like in a movie.
Another case is when some people want to rule, this can be also because one individual submits and someone does always submit, could be a female or a male, someone always submits a little more. And if you submit to someone who doesn’t understand this submission other than a source of power and rule display then the same person who submitted would be in LOVe according to this article whilst the other could be in an attachment whilst from a step backward looking at them both, they would claim to be in love .. So it’s more of something related to a persons nature and nature to accept mistakes if any, learn and grow to become a better and mature person … once someone is mature then they learn to live a real life in a real world … for each other.
What kind of love lets you be ok without your partner around you??…. Bullshit article.. No one can define true love.. It happens… There is no rules and regulations to attain true love… Do you think of yourself as love guru?? True lover.. Yeah? ?
There’s a lot o grey areas in this article.it doesn’t quite make sense. It sounds like they’re trying to say not to love anything ever at all and be ok with it, or saying to let love go?I dunno. Attachment is a part of a relationship, a detached relationship is unhealthy. I get that being too attached is a bad thing but there has to be a connection as well.
The word attachment used here denotes lust and obssessive in love….the word attachment is to the spritual level….attachment refer to being connected with that person….i don’t like the way the writer have used the word attachment….????
I understand your point, I think what the author should have used/meant was a mix of infatuation, co-dependency, Andy obsession. Attachment IS a part of “true love” when it’s healthy!