We all make every kind of excuse about why it’s not going to work with someone we’re dating. Everyone has their deal breakers: the turn-offs that prevent you from dating someone or stop you from taking a relationship to the next level. There are all kinds of factors that can determine how a relationship works out.
But when you meet the right person, a lot of it doesn’t matter anymore. Compatibility is a process, not a checklist. Of course you shouldn’t settle for less than you deserve. But sometimes in the process of getting to know someone, you realize you don’t care about the things you thought you cared about:
1. Timing: When you meet the right person, it doesn’t really matter that a million other things are going down in your life.
So your life is a sh*storm. You’re busy at work or you just lost your job. Maybe you’re already dating three other people and are thinking to yourself that you don’t even have time for dating at all.
But once a keeper comes along, you make time to get to know them better.
2. Your Ex: What ex?
You were coming to terms with the fact that you’d never truly get over your ex. And your friends have been talking about how you need a rebound for months. How you shouldn’t dive head-first into a relationship too quickly.
But when you meet someone special, you stop worrying about the one who got away and start worrying that the person you just met might get away.
3. Age: It really is just a number.
Your mom isn’t too happy that you end up with someone with a huge age difference from you. Or, for many women, it’s “unusual” to date a younger guy. But all that matters is that you’re happy, with them. The actual maturity of the person matters more than the year they were born.
The right person constantly makes you rethink everything you thought you knew about people, and yourself. Everyone will joke you about the age thing. But you never think about it much, because it doesn’t matter to you.
4. Where You Met: The how-we-met story isn’t as important as what comes after.
So you meet the perfect person, but the first question everyone asks you is “How did you meet each other?” And you met somewhere really unromantic (cough cough, Tinder). So you hadn’t even expected a relationship in real life to come out of it.
But you don’t care anymore. Because your relationship is bigger than other people’s expectations for how a couple is supposed to be introduced to one another.
5. Distance: Nothing can keep you apart unless you let it.
Everyone knows long-distance is difficult. What’s the point of a relationship if you’re going to be alone in your bed at the end of the night? But when a relationship is unfolding, you don’t let distance get in the way. You work around it.
Despite the miles that might be between you, you create closeness that bridges the distance. You keep in touch via alternative methods.
And when you do see each other, it’s that much more satisfying.